I'm feeling so overwhelmed lately. I know I'm having one of those weeks, but I can't shake this feeling that I'm trying and not getting anywhere. It honestly baffles me how people find the time, money, effort and inspiration to do things. There's so much I want to do with my life but getting to that point is near impossible.
Setting up the magazine is on the back burner at the moment, I'm afraid. Although I'm constantly thinking of new ideas, knowing what to do with them is a different matter. I'll be having some meetings in September to see about getting a business loan, but until then, what can I do other than research? And I said I wouldn't tell anyone about my idea to avoid pressure but I did to get some interest and contributors. Although they understand, I can't help but feel like I'm letting them down when I tell them about my big plans and then they here nothing from me in weeks. I just don't know where to start, I can't make any progress on content at the moment.
I guess I am slightly worried about failing. Not because I'm not good enough. I know for a fine fact that my writing is top notch and I have some really big challenging ideas, it's just getting the word out. Promotion has never been my strong point and the majority of hits for my blog for example are returning loyal readers who genuinely enjoy my writing. But finding new people, people to read my blog and buy the magazine? That's the tough bit.
The other main thing is travel. I still want to take a year out, but how will that fit in with the magazine? I can't go ahead with it all and decide later on that I'm going to take some time off, then just leave it for a year.
And travel. That's the thing! How can people afford to do it? It's like one thing at a time for me - concentrate on work for money instead of a career and somehow save to go traveling, or concentrate on putting my writing first.
There's just so much to do. There's not enough time in the day. And then I find a week or two have passed and before I know it it's been a month and I've not gotten particularly further with anything. I think if I'd just done a little bit each day, I'd be considerably further by now. But it just doesn't work like that.
Life's much too short. I need to hurry up and do things before I turn around and realize years have passed and I haven't yet done what I want to.